I Think Too Much

I thought:

one day I'll be happy

one day I'll be handsome

one day I will travel the world

one day I will have friends from every corner of the globe

one day I'll look in the mirror and find the love of my life

one day I'll know everything

one day I will meet god

and ask them what the fuck they were thinking

Time

We say time is a line

/clock

/face

/hand

What time is it?

As if there's an answer. So,

I point my finger at the clock

on the wall, in the dining room

that has been there

for Forever,

as if it is the answer to the question.

When in fact, it is the tip of my finger

/the wave of sun breaking the clouds

/the end of the line drawn in my mind

/my parents' mind

/their parents' mind

/their parents's mind...

for Forever.

Someone stops me and asks,

"What's the time?"

And I point to my face

/to my father's hand holding a fish by its gill

/to the sun through the cut crystal vase my mother has filled with freshly cut peonies from the backyard and I say:

It is time.

Safe Place

The forest floor was covered in soiled mattresses in varying states of decay. A plastic Steinberg bag was gripped by the branches of a sapling, its limbs crooked and desperate, as it sought out the few sun beams that broke through the canopy. This was the forest. This is where I felt safest. This is where I needed permission to go.

Lithospherical Cardiographical

A description of the core of the Earth:

Convective currents,

Expanding heated tides,

Droning universal beat,

Glittering gold particles,

And the metallic taste of blood.

A description of my human heart:

Convective currents,

Expanding heated tides,

Droning universal beat,

Glittering gold particles,

And the metallic taste of blood.

Body Memory

Blood boils

Semen glows

Tears float

Sweat glitters

the Body knows.

Blood circulates

Semen replicates

Tears evaporate

Sweat emanates

the Body remembers.

Blood rush

Semen stain

Tear up

Sweat out

the Body accepts.

Hide or Seek

You'll find me in the garden where the lilacs bloom, where the ants march 3 by 3, where the moon can be seen through the stems of roses (thorns in silhouette), where there are rainbows of green, where a snake pretends to be a garden hose, where the spiders shoot silk from their butts, where the peonies grow large and erect.

You'll find me in the corner of the backyard where the grass is hard and yellow, where I saw a bird and a bee doing it, where it smells like urine, where the cicada drones louder, where the sun causes cancer faster, where the gravity of the Earth pulls just a teensy bit more, and the soil has been worn down to the bedrock we call a shield but is really a piece of the first land to emerge in a sea of fire.

Light Refracts

Light acts as both a particle and a wave

As if to say, you can be this and that

As if to say, you can exist in multiple states of being;

A multiplicity of contrasts

As if to say, it's possible to laugh and cry

at the same time

As if to say, you can be happy and angry and sad at

once

As if to say, you are the person you have

always been and wished to be this whole

time

Light acts as both a particle and a wave

Emotion Metaphors Paired with Palate Cleansers

Anger is:

Summer in July

ozone depleted,

infrared sun,

sky is a violet violence.

Escape to cool chlorine waters.

Shame is:

Corner of Backyard

weeds thrive,

fingers find roots,

earth is a burst capillary.

Run to cool chlorine waters.

Intimate Degenerate

1st Date

forearms graze

2nd Date

bodily fluids mix

3rd Date

discussions of unresolved childhood trauma

4th Date

sex in public park

5th Date

displays of strong moral character

6th Date

cut each other's hair

7th Date

resonate anxiety frequencies

8th Date

challenge monogamous monotony

9th Date

hold hands in metro station at rush hour

10th Date

first kiss